


Help Me Understand

by NightAshes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Logan is confused, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, The others are there for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:58:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightAshes/pseuds/NightAshes
Summary: Logic doesn't feel. So why does Logan? He doesn't understand and it is all too much.





	Help Me Understand

The others are waiting downstairs for Logan to join them. They are having their monthly family night. And he shutters to think what theme Patton and Roman have picked this time.They always go over the top with it. They’ll be expecting him to join them. But he has better things to do. And if he was being truthful, he just wanted to be alone for awhile. There has been so much going on lately. So much that he has been feeling lately. And he doesn’t understand it. He shouldn’t be feeling. 

**I’m here with you all. And yet I still feel so alone. How could you know? None of you understand. You are all so full of emotions. But I’m not. I can’t be. Logic isn’t supposed to have emotions. Sometimes I feel. And it feels so wrong. I’m not supposed to get mad. I’m not supposed to lose control. I’m supposed to be better than that. Emotions shouldn’t sway me. I shouldn’t feel proud. When you all smiled at me. When Thomas called me cool. I shouldn’t feel glad or excited. Emotions cloud the mind. And I can’t be clouded. I can’t be shrouded. It makes me flawed. I need to be better. I need to be logic. Cold hard facts. Unbiased. True.**

_ Knock knock  _ “Hey, Logan, I’m baking cookies with Crofter’s! They’re almost done. So come and get them while they’re hot.”

“Later, Patton. There is still much I have to get done.”

“Okay.” The cheery voice rings out. “Come down soon. Family night wouldn’t be the same without you!”

Footsteps lead away. He sits there at his desk. Staring at the blank page of his calendar. 

** I don’t understand you. I don’t understand your laughter or tears. I don’t even understand my own. I’m lost and confused. And I feel so alone. But how can that be when you all are always right there. Waiting for me. Reaching out for my hand. Happy to be right by my side. You’re excited for today. I guess I should be too. But all these thoughts and all of these feelings. They just don’t make much sense. I’m just so confused.**

_ Knock Knock  _ “Hey, Excel Bro! Are you coming out soon? You have to see the living room! It’s going to blow your mind!”

“Not now, Roman. I still need to finish completing Thomas’s agenda for the month.”

“Hah.” He barks out a laugh. “Only you would be working on family night. Well, hurry up. We are all waiting for you!” Roman bounds off.

**Waiting for me. What a strange thought? What a queer idea? I can feel it growing. A feeling is spreading. A warmth from my heart is filling me up and it’s terrifying. What’s happening? Why am I feeling? What’s going on? This isn’t supposed to be happening. **

Logan taps his pen frantically against the page. His brow is furrowed. And his lips are pursed. 

Is it possible for Logic to have feelings? Patton is supposed to be the one that feels. Not him. Not Logic. Is he broken? Is he flawed? How will Thomas function with a logic like him. He should just shove those feelings deep down inside. He should just ignore them all. And focus on what logic and only logic dictates he should do. And logic dictates that he must finish this calendar. 

_ Knock knock _ “Uhh… Hey L. We have everything set up downstairs. It’s actually pretty cool.” Virgil speaks softly through the door.

Logan stares at the door separating him from the others. His hand twitches. He should open it. 

But no. He hasn’t finished his project yet.

“Logan? Are you okay in there?” Virgil speaks again.

Logan’s breath hitches. Is he okay? Why wouldn’t he be okay? Everything is fine. He just wanted to complete this one task. He doesn’t need to see the others. He just needs to do his work. 

He looks down at the still blank agenda. Tears spill out onto the empty paper. Why is he crying? Why does he feel so alone? He isn’t. Not really. They are all here in the mindscape. Waiting for him to join them. He just doesn’t understand. And that’s the worst part. Because logic is supposed to know. Logic is supposed to understand.

A sob breaks free as he clamps his hand over his mouth. 

“Logan?” Virgil’s voice is frantic with worry. “Logan, let me in. We can talk.”

Why? Why is he crying? 

“Virgil, what’s going on?” He hears Roman join Virgil at the door. 

Great. Now, he’ll know too. Know that the side that is supposed to be emotionless is crying over nothing. 

Why is he crying? There is no reason too. No reason at all. And yet, the tears keep coming. He clenches his fist. He shouldn’t be feeling. He just needed to shove those thoughts away. Dwelling on them was only serving to break him further. 

“LoLo? Are you okay? Can you talk? We’re all here for you. Just let us in.” Patton’s soft admission breaks through his thoughts. 

They’re here. All of them. Standing outside his door. For him. 

He bawls into his hands. His body shaking as he stands, stumbling to the door. He flips the lock open. The door bursts open as three worried sides coming rushing to surround him. They wrap their arms around him. Comforting him. 

“I… I don’t understand.” He cries into Roman’s shoulder. The creative side is holding him tightly. 

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand.” He repeats again and again. As Patton’s arms grip his shoulders. He repeats it again and again. As Roman holds him tighter to his chest. He repeats it again and again as Virgil’s hand rubs soothing circle into his back. 

“We’re here for you” Roman whispers into his ear. “We’ll help you understand. Whatever it is. We’ll be there for you, always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is welcome! :)


End file.
